"CandyIs dandyBut liquorIs quicker."

"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up."

"The turtle lives 'twixt plated decksWhich practically conceal its sex.I think it clever of the turtleIn such a fix to be so fertile."

"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."

"When there are monsters there are miracles."

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them."

"I love my kids, but I wouldn't want them for friends."

"Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, And that's what parents were created for."

"The worth of a book is to be measured by what you can carry away from it."

"Purity, patience, and perseverance are the three essentials to success and, above all, love."

"Evil is always possible, and goodness is eternally difficult."

"When love is strong, a man and a woman can make their bed on a sword's blade. When love grows weak, a bed of 60 cubits is not large enough."