"Progress might have been all right once, but it went on too long."

"CandyIs dandyBut liquorIs quicker."

"The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig."

"Progress might have been all right once but it has gone on too long."

"People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it."

"Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else."

"The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it."

"I say 'girl' because I love to annoy people. I love the word 'girl'. 'Gal' is pretty great, too. I don't just want to be called a woman. It sounds like someone with a mustache."

"Compromise, if not the spice of life, is its solidity. It is what makes nations great and marriages happy."

"If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he entitled to happiness?"

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit."

"Getting out of bed in the morning is an act of false confidence."