"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."

"On his examination paper a boy wrote, 'A natural death is where you die by yourself without a doctor's help."

"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."

"The classes that wash most are those that work least."

"It is better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you are not."

"People always tell you that when you grow old you will lose your mind. What they fail to tell you is how little you'll miss it."

"If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters."

"The first precept was never to accept a thing as true until I knew it as such without a single doubt."

"Babylon violated diminishes Alexander; Rome enslaved diminishes Caesar; massacred Jerusalem diminishes Titus. Tyranny follows the tyrant. Woe to the man who leaves behind a shadow that bears his form."

"Consistency is the quality of a stagnant mind."

"Price is what you pay. Value is what you get."

"We slew the goliath of raciism,but, we now must contend with his offspring."