"There is plenty of peace in any home where the family doesn't make the mistake of trying to get together."

"Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you."

"There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?"

"Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought."

"Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune."

"The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket."

"Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man and work like a dog."

"In these days, a man who says a thing cannot be done is quite apt to be interrupted by some idiot doing it."

"The only man, woman, or child who ever wrote a simple declarative sentence with seven grammatical errors is dead."

"By their own follies they perished, the fools."

"There is this difference between happiness and wisdom, that he that thinks himself the happiest man, really is so; but he who thinks himself the wisest, is generally the greatest fool."

"Hollywood is a strange place if you're in trouble. Everybody thinks it's contagious."