"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."

"When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don't feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one."

"Why is it when we talk to God we're praying -- but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?"

"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?"

"What's reality anyway? Nothing but a collective hunch."

"Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?"

"She did not talk to people as if they were strange hard shells she had to crack open to get inside. She talked as if she were already in the shell. In their very shell."

"Better to rely on one powerful king than on many little princes."

"Everyone woman has a flaw. If it is not on the exterior it's in her head."

"'That's the problem with tradition, it's always dated."

"I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion."

"Anybody who wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office."